《你别无选择》:在喧哗的时代里骚动,在自由的青春里迷茫

来源:中国文化译研网

作者:中国文化译研网

2019-07-08

  编者按:为了更好地进行中国文学海外传播工作,让中国作品在海外被发现(Discover)、被理解(Understand)、被传播(Express),中国文化译研网(CCTSS)邀请国内资深文学主编及文学评论家,精选出近两百部短中长篇小说,形成第一期《中国当代文学作品指南》(简称“指南”),从更具权威性、价值性的角度出发,更好地向世界展示中国当代文学精品,传播中国书香。


  夏读书,日正长,打开书,喜洋洋。现将“指南”中的精品文学作品以一日一推的方式向读者呈现,让我们不负一夏好时光。


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  刘索拉 | 《你别无选择》


  推荐理由


  《你别无选择》是刘索拉的一次勇敢的“选择”,在之前的文学里,还少有人像她一样地写小说:新奇的叙述与荒诞的故事以及黑色幽默的笔法。正因为这样,《你别无选择》被誉为中国的现代派小说。无论“真”“伪”,其中就能显现出它的尝试与价值。


  从内容上看,小说所写的,是音乐学院作曲系学生以及老师的一些故事,这一群闹腾的青年人,他们生活方式各不相同,他们的精神状态也有异样,但也表现出一些相似的特征——混乱且疯狂。小说着重表达的是八十年代的中国青年们的思想状态和精神困境。他们是年轻的一代,也是追逐理想与实现价值的一代,但他们却在喧哗的时代里骚动,在自由的青春里迷茫。


  王蒙在小说的序言里也有一段很好的评论:那种闹腾劲儿,那种嘲笑别人也嘲笑自己的语言,那种意欲有所追寻但又对不准目标的惶惑,那种不惜一切的献身精神与创造欲望,那种自我夸大狂与自卑自弃,尽管有时候是以“不象”的闹剧形式出现的,却也真实地再现了八十年代某些城市青年的心态风貌。哪怕是在闹剧的或自嘲的外衣下面,他们发出了自己的杂沓的却也是动人的青春的声音。


  Reviews


  You Have No Choice is a brave “choice” made by Liu Sola. In earlier literature, few have written works like she has – blending novel narration and absurd plot twists with black humor. For this very reason, You Have No Choice is reputed as China’s modern novel. Whether or not the story exists in reality is beside the point; its value comes from being the first of its kind.


  In terms of content, the novel depicts the stories of students and teachers from the Department of Composing in a music conservatory. This group of young people displays varied lifestyles and states of mind, but they have some similarities such as being chaotic and crazy. But in any case, a key note the novel raises is the mentality and dilemmas faced by China’s youth in the 1980s. They are the younger generation – they have dreams to chase and self-values to fulfill, they are aroused in an era of turmoil, and lost in the youth of freedom.


  Wang Meng makes some great comments in his preface to this novella: that noisy excitement, the language used to mock oneself as well as others, that sense of bewilderment that comes with an urge to succeed but the reality of failure, those feelings of desperate devotion and creative desire, those moments of egotism and self-abandonment that we’re all familiar with – the novel reproduces all too truthfully the thoughts and moods of city youths in the 1980s. Although they appear occasionally in the form of deliberate misrepresentations, they have produced their own voice of the youth, a voice that rings out disorderly yet moving, hidden behind a guise of farce and self-deprecation.


  作家简介


  Author Profile


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  刘索拉,1955年生于北京,祖籍陕西志丹。1977年考入中央音乐学院作曲系,1983年毕业分配至中央民族大学任教。1988年,刘索拉旅居英国,并一度定居纽约,先后行走多个国家,现主要生活在北京。


  1982年刘索拉开始发表作品,1986年,加入中国作家协会。代表作《你别无选择》发表于1985年,被称为中国第一部“现代派”小说,获全国优秀中篇小说奖,并刮起了一股强劲的“刘索拉旋风”。除代表作外,还有中篇《蓝天绿海》《寻找歌王》《浑沌加哩格楞》等,长篇《女贞汤》《迷恋咒》,散文集《行走中的刘索拉》《曼哈顿随笔》。刘索拉的作品获得诸多奖项,并翻译成多种文字,在国内外都有较大的影响。


  除却作家身份,刘索拉也是一名作曲家,在音乐领域成就非凡。1997年刘索拉在纽约成立了自己的音乐制作公司,着力于中国音乐的世界传播。2002年在北京也成立了“艺术生产车间”。刘索拉的音乐作品主要有《蓝调在东方》《六月雪》等。


  Liu Sola was born in Beijing in 1955, but has origins in in Zhidan County, Shaanxi Province. She entered the Department of Composing, Central Conservatory of Music in 1977, and was assigned to teach at the Minzu University of China after graduation in 1983. Since 1988, she has traveled and resided in a number of foreign countries, finding homes in Britain and later in New York. Now she mainly lives in Beijing.


  Since 1982, Liu Sola began creating works of literature and joined the Chinese Writers Association in 1986. First published in 1985, her master work You Have No Choice was called the first “Modern Novel of China”, winning the National Best Novella Award with a “Liu Sola whirlwind” that swept the industry. Apart from this master work, she has also published novellas: Blue Sky Green Sea Looking for the King of Songs Chaos and All That, novels: Female Purity SoupFascination·Curse, and essay collections: Liu Sola on the Move and Casual Notes about Manhattan. Her works have won many prizes and have been translated into a number of languages, exerting considerable influence both at home and abroad.


  Apart from being a writer, Liu Sola is also a composer, having made remarkable achievements in the field of music. In 1997, she founded her own music production studio in New York, devoted to the transmission of Chinese music worldwide. In 2002, she established an “art production workshop” in Beijing. Her notable musical works include Blues in the East and Snow in June.


中文概要

Synopsis


  音乐学院作曲系有着一群学生。其中,李鸣不止一次想退学,虽然他有才能,有气质,富于乐感,却常常旷课,躲在宿舍里画画。李鸣跑到王教授那请教退学的事,王教授是全院公认的“神经病”。他告诉李鸣说,“你老老实实学习吧,傻瓜。你别无选择,只有作曲”。此后,李鸣开始躺在床上无休无止地看睡觉。


  室友马力有一个奇怪的爱好,就是藏书。他不停地买书,并把自己收藏的书像图书馆一样登上书号、附上借书卡,为此,他还打了个书柜。然而,马力却在上课的时候常常睡着。


  白石是李鸣的室友,李鸣永远和他处不好。他有着异乎寻常的认真劲儿,甚至不愿放过老师的丝毫错误,要当面毫不客气地指出来,所以与同学关系紧张,后来便搬到理论系宿舍。白石对于音乐,有着狂热的追求,除了音乐书,他什么也不看。


  另一个室友“小个子”,常年有腱鞘炎。他个子不高,玩起“撞拐”来却占了大家上风。


  隔壁寝室的戴齐有着肖邦的气质,琴弹得出众,人也修长苍白,有几分秀气。他喜欢凑在女孩子堆里以及和“小个子”开玩笑,因为在其他人面前他占不了上风。


  森森留着鸟窝式的长发,而且不洗衣服不洗澡,把上钢琴课的老太太熏得厉害,老太太终于命令森森脱下衣服,光着膀子离开琴房,后来森森收到了一个包裹,里面正是他的衬衣,已经被洗的干干净净了。


  孟野门门功课都好,却总不按规律办事,他的作品里总有一些疯狂的想法。他很有才气,却总被女朋友缠着不放,这让他大伤脑筋,也没办法,后来迫于女友的爱情压力,而草草结了婚。


  董客这人太踏实,踏实得叫人难受。但他一张口就是一些似乎很深奥又驴头不对马嘴的话。


  在作曲系里,还有三个女生。“猫”因为喜欢猫猫叫便有了这个外号,她总能轻易地哭起来;“懵懂”则一天到晚只想着睡觉,她很聪明,却也没记性,老师讲的东西老忘;“时间”女生中的楷模,但当同时有两个男生追求她,她却又全不拒绝。正是因为她们三个把全班搅得不亦乐乎,所以后几届作曲班就没再招女生。


  教作曲系学生的主科有两位教授:贾教授和金教授。贾教授总是大谈风纪,也不苟言笑,他把大部分精力都放在认真讲学上,剩下的就是攻击金教授。金教授太不注重“风纪”了,穿着夸张,身上散发着香水味道。他在讲课时总带着一把花生米,上课也不怎么讲,而多是懒洋洋弹着钢琴,弹起来就忘我了。


  整个学院,总是充满着各种声音,早晨四点的小号,五点的琴声,这些声音吵得李鸣睡不着觉。他们也总总因为一些问题而争执不休,因为他们别无选择,“不干这个还干什么”。


  临近考试时,全校的学生各个都加紧复习,琴房里也嘈杂一片。作曲系学生为躲避噪声,找了个僻静的大教室复习。然而,不知谁在这教室的黑板上填了个大大的功能圈,而这个功能圈让全体同学感到恐惧。李鸣想撕掉,却被“小个子”拦住。


  真正的考试来了,恐慌变成了平静。在作曲考试时,李鸣怎么也不能集中精力,觉得怎么写都不会顺耳,但想到无论如何都不能让贾老师说对,于是才心花怒放,浑身轻松。翌日,歌曲作曲考试,“懵懂”看着歌词根本拿不准,写了十种方案,全都难听的要命。直到第二天早晨五点,她才把谱子交给白石。而白石也研究了一夜自己谱子上的文字注解。


  考试完后,每个人都在庆祝。然而,这时候却传来了一个噩耗:回家探亲的马力被塌方窑洞的砸死了。李鸣忘不了马力,而更不能释怀的“小个子”,他此后在不停地擦洗。教室里的功能圈被人用镜框挂在墙上,涂了黑漆又涂了一层金粉,自从马力死后,“小个子”就和这个镜框交上朋友,总把它擦的很亮。“小个子”还继承了马力的事业,把自己的书也写上书号,填上借书卡。此外,他还拼命地打扫宿舍和马力的床铺,把宿舍窗户和地板擦的一尘不染。“小个子”告诉李鸣他要出国了。可是为什么,他却没有说。“小个子”走的时候留了张字条,没让任何人去送他。直到后来地板有了越来越多的脚印后,李鸣才感觉到“小个子”真的走了。


  在马力出事之后,贾教授收到了一个国际青年作曲家比赛通知,在选什么样的作品去参赛上,贾教授和金教授又有了分歧。比赛的事情通知下去了,大家反映也是各异。


  董客非常地积极,他一心想要获奖,于是他不停地排练,甚至和乐队私下签了“合同”,在保证他的作品的排练时间之后,才能给别人排练。他准备的音乐混合了各种风格,乐队不停地抱怨,为此,董客从家里要了笔钱,请乐队大吃一顿,还买来一筐筐水果、糖果、糕点给乐队在排练时提神,甚至把自己的录音机和手表都卖了。


  森森也在准备自己的作品,但他一直在徘徊着,不太满意又没想出更好的,他觉得自己短短的手指弹不出他想要的那种“力度”,他想要找到一种类似“灵魂”的东西。一天,孟野悠长地哼着一首古老简单的调子,让森森感到其中有着一种原始东西和“力度”,他也喜欢“猫”修长手指弹出来的简单的音乐,使他得到片刻的休息。


  戴齐则把自己关在琴房,酝酿着一个充满他内心渴望的作品,但却始终写了上句没了下句,弹来弹去,把第一句反过来弹一遍当做第二句。无奈下,他最后转去钢琴系了。


  比赛在礼堂进行公演,这一天,李鸣破例从床上爬起来到最后一排的角落坐下了。董客的几种风格的作品引起大家注意,但每部作品都有些地方让人感到他的手忙脚乱。森森的五重奏给人带来远古的质朴和神秘感,充满无限的力量,好像一道质朴粗犷的旋律在重峦叠嶂中穿行、扭动、膨胀。孟野演奏的是大提琴协奏曲,像一群昏天黑地扑过来的幽灵一样语无伦次的呻吟着。比赛结束后,学校最终选择送董客和森森出去比赛,而孟野因为石白的批评文章和妻子的控告信不仅没能出国比赛,而且被退学了。


  新年到了。作曲系管弦系一起在教室开联欢会。一个管弦系的小伙子来借马力的红被面做外衣,被李鸣一拳打退。李鸣把马力的被窝铺好,也擦了擦地板,又钻到自己的被窝里。而外面,正是热热闹闹的联欢会。聂风端出一个蛋糕,上面有巧克力挤出的功能圈图案,“懵懂”一看到便尖叫起来,想起墙壁上的功能圈,跑过去要把它摘下来。森森想起了“小个子”,制止了她,当“懵懂”爬上讲台桌时,要去揪那个镜框时,森森在下面一下把讲台桌撤了,“懵懂”也滚了下来,流出了眼泪。


  到了夏季,也临近了毕业。学校公布了森森在国际作曲比赛中获奖的消息,李鸣知后,从被窝里钻出来,跑到琴房打了森森一顿,然后笑着溜走,他已经不打算再钻进被窝了。他把马力的铺盖重新捆好,和书箱放在一起,还贴了个条子:请你爱护它们。


  毕业典礼的时候,森森还在琴房,他戴着耳机听着自己的音响,想起了很多事情,越听越觉得沉重。他翻着抽屉,找了一盘《莫扎特朱庇特C大调交响乐》的磁带,便放了起来,顿时,一种清新而健全、充满了阳光的音响笼罩了他,他感到从未有过的解脱,他欣喜若狂,打开窗户看清净如玉的天空,伸手去感受大自然的气流。突然,他哭了。


  Among a group of students in the Music Conservatory’s Composing Department was a boy named Li Ming, who wanted to quit school more than once. Although he had no lack of talent, temperament and musical sensibility, he often skipped classes to work on paintings in his dorm instead. He sought advice from Professor Wang – a lunatic in the eyes of the department – on whether or not he should leave school. Wang told Li Ming: “Come on, just put in your time here. You have no other choice but to compose music.” Shortly thereafter, Li Ming would always be found lying on his bed, reading and sleeping for days and months on end.


  Li Ming had a roommate named Ma Li, who had a curious hobby of collecting books. He would buy books, mark them with numbers, and attach borrowing cards to them like those seen in the library. He even constructed a custom-made a bookshelf for that matter. But Ma Li sure could sleep in class.


  Li Ming simply could never get along with their third roommate, Bai Shi. Taking everything too seriously, Bai would even blatantly point out teachers’ tiniest mistakes. This strained relationships with his peers, and so he moved to the Department of Theory’s dormitory later. A fanatic about music, Bai would always have his face planted in a book on the subject.


  Another roommate suffered tenosynovitis all year round. Nicknamed “Peewee” for his small stature, he still could beat anybody in a leg fight.


  Dai Qi next door had a temperament similar to Chopin, and possessed an outstanding ability to play the piano. A delicate-looking guy with long legs and a pale face, he liked to mingle with girls and tease with Peewee, for it was only around them that he felt a sense of superiority.


  Seng Seng had long, unkempt hair reminiscent of a bird’s nest. He never bothered to wash his clothes or his body. One day, the old lady who taught piano lessons couldn’t stand his stench anymore and ordered him to take off his clothes and leave the piano room topless. He got his shirt back later in a package, freshly-washed.


  Meng Ye was a top student but with poor, unbridled behavior. And his works were always filled with the craziest ideas! He was a talented man, but was often tortured by his girlfriend who would buzz around him all day. But eventually he gave in to her romantic pressures, tying the knot as she wanted.


  Dong Ke was a down-to-earth guy, so down-to-earth as to make others uncomfortable. When he’d speak, you’d expect something profound yet completely irrelevant to come out.


  There were also three girls in the Department of Composing: “Cat”, named for her constant meows and tendency to cry at the drop of a hat; “Muddle-headed”, who got her name from her in-and-out sleep and eternally-dazed look (she was actually quite smart, but would always forget what her teachers said); and “Time”, who was the ideal role model for the girls around her – but she didn’t mean she would decline either of the boys courting her. To their credit, no girls were admitted to the composing class in the following years.


  Two professors, Professor Jia and Professor Jin, taught students in their major courses. The former was serious and stern, preferring to dwell upon discipline and spend the greater portion of his energy on teaching, the remaining portion on attacking Professor Jin. The latter was lax and lazy, dressing absurdly and dousing himself in perfume. Always taking a handful of peanuts to class, he spoke little and played the piano most of the time, absorbed in it once he started.


  The whole college was always an assortment of sounds, with people playing trumps at four and others striking piano keys at five. With people playing this early all the time, Li Ming could hardly get a minute of sleep. Li and his peers would also argue all the time over all sorts of petty things. This made them feel helpless, with them leading a life “without a choice.” But they would often think: “If I don’t do this, then what the hell can I do?”


  With exams around the corner, their whole class hit the books hard in review, turning the piano room into a teahouse. Students in the Department of Composing found themselves a large and quiet room to avoid the hubbub. However, a large Circle of Fifths was drawn on the blackboard, a function that really scared all the students. Li Ming wanted to tear it down, but was stopped by Peewee.


  Once it was exam time, panic turned to calm. In the composing exam, Li Ming simply couldn’t concentrate, fearing that whatever he produced wouldn’t please the ear. But once he knew that any idea would be a failing idea, he felt both elated and relaxed. The next day, during the song-writing exam, Muddle-headed couldn’t understand a thing about the lyrics – she ended up producing ten rotten melodies from it all. It wasn’t until five o’clock the next morning that she handed them in to Bai Shi, who also spent a whole night interpreting the lyrics.


  But it was only when everybody started celebrating the end of exams that bad news came: Ma Li was on a visit home when a cave collapsed in on him. Li Ming couldn’t get him off his mind while Peewee missed him even more, who kept scrubbing and washing afterwards. The Circle of Fifths in the classroom was framed and hung on the wall, coated with black and golden powder. Ever since Ma Li’s death, Peewee had befriended the object, cleaning it to a nice, even sheen. Peewee also took after Ma Li’s task of marking books with numbers and filling out borrowing cards for them. Apart from that, he would painstakingly scrub the dorm clean and tidy up Ma Li’s bed, wiping down the windows and floors until they were positively gleaming. He told Li Ming he was going to go abroad, but made no mention of the reason. He left a note when he left, pleading that no one see him off. It wasn’t until later that Li Ming realized his departure, as the footprints in their dorm wouldn’t magically go away any longer.


  After Ma Li’s accident, Professor Jia received a notice about an international young composers’ competition. But he and Professor Jin couldn’t agree on which competition works to choose. And everybody had mixed thoughts when the news came to light.


  Dong Ke was very enthusiastic about winning. He rehearsed all the time and even signed a contract with the band guaranteeing that he get rehearsal time before others had their turn. The band kept complaining about the extreme variety of the music he prepared, so he treated them to a big meal and boxes of fruits, candies and cookies for refreshments with the money borrowed from his parents as well as from selling his recorder and watch.


  Seng Seng was also preparing his works, but he was caught in a dilemma: he wasn’t pleased with what works he had produced so far, but couldn’t come up with anything better. He felt his short fingers couldn’t evoke the force he wanted in his music, hoping to bring some soul into his melodies. One day, Meng Ye hummed an old and simple tune, enlightening him in regards to rawness and force. He also liked the simple music played by “Cat” with her slender fingers, which granted him temporary reprieve. 


  Dai Qi locked himself in the piano room, wishing to embody his inner cravings into a complete work, but ended up writing haphazardly. He played notes backward and forward, and even tried swapping the first and second notes for some variation. But in his despair, he transferred to the Department of Piano. 


  The competition was held to the public in the auditorium. On that day, Li Ming did something new, getting up from his bed to go watch the performance from the corner seat, last row. Dong Ke impressed the audience with his montage of different styles, but each work had a tinge of something undesirable. Seng Seng’s quintet provided the audience with a scene of distant simplicity and mystery. It boasted limitless power as if a rough and bold melody were travelling, twisting, and swelling amidst jagged mountains. Meng Ye’s cello concerto moaned and groaned incoherently like a pack of haunting ghosts. After the competition, the school decided to send Dong Ke and Seng Seng to attend the international event. Meng Ye was not considered; besides, he was out thanks to Bai Shi’s critical essay and his wife’s letter of accusation.


  On New Year’s Day, the Departments of Composing and Orchestra held a joint celebration in the classroom. A guy from the Department of Orchestra came to borrow Ma Li’s red quilt thinking it would make for an overcoat, only to get beat up and expelled. Li Ming made Ma Li’s bed, mopped the floor, then tucked into his own bed. Outside, the celebration was in full swing. Nie Feng took out a cake, on it was a design of their beloved Circle of Fifths, done in chocolate. Upon seeing this, Muddle-headed cried out and ran over to take it down from the wall. Being reminded of Peewee, Seng Seng stopped her. When she climbed onto the platform desk to grab the frame, he removed the desk from under her, Muddle-headed falling over with tears rolling down her cheeks. 


  Summer was approaching and so was graduation. The school announced that Seng Seng had won the prize in the international composition competition. Upon learning this, Li Ming crawled out of his bed and ran to the piano room to give Seng Seng a beating, slipping away with a smile. He decided not to sleep anymore. He packed up Ma Li’s bedding, tying it together with the box of books and a note on it reading “Please take good care of these.” 


  On commencement day, Seng Seng was still in the piano room. He listened to his music through headphones, and became sadder and sadder as he recalled many things. He fumbled his way inside a drawer, taking out a tape of Mozart’s Symphony Jupiter in C Major and playing it. All at sudden, a warm, light-hearted music surrounded him, making him more relieved than ever before. Filled with joy, he opened the window and saw a crystal-clear sky; he reached out to feel the silky flow of nature’s breeze. And that’s when the tears came.

责任编辑:王爽